If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...