Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops