I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -28

WILLY

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops