whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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pudding

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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