What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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knock knock come in

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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