How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Watch brand new car videos at carvideos website

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

kennah campion when she talks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops