Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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View Terms of Service

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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