A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

thumb_up thumb_down

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

thumb_up thumb_down

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down

It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

thumb_up thumb_down

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

thumb_up thumb_down

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

thumb_up thumb_down

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call your mom? Mom

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops