Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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