A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Justin's life

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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