Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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