How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops