rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops