Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Justin's life

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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