Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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