What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops