- Anti Joke

An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

whats green and slimy? green slim

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.