You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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silver bullet?

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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