What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops