Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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brock has small hands for a small job

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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