A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I went to work today....

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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heat!

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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