Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

Double-whammy

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

800 people died last year. end of story

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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