Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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