What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -29

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Guess What??? Ur Murr

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops