Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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