Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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