Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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