What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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8

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops