"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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ejaculation JLR

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops