AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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