- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

rarw

your brother so fine that hes skinney

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.