God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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I love you

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Maths.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops