A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

cancer

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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