How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Vagina Boob

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops