-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Maths.

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KILL WHITEY

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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