I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops