What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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