people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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salad days!

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops