What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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guess what>? your mum lol

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I went to work today....

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops