When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops