little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

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Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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knock knock go away

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Dallas Cowboys

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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wat?

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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