Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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