In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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