Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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404 Error: Joke not found

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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