what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops