This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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