I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops