What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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