what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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