Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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