I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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