What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops